I was catching up with a dear friend the other day and the cadre of conversation took it’s natural course to how we were each doing. There is a quote that often pops up on my pinterest feed that I love, it reads;
“Watch carefully, the magic that occurs,when you give a personjust enough comfort,to be themselves.”
I would like to take the time to acknowledge the simplicity and importance of people who ask the simple question “how are you” and truly want to know how you are. I think there is such a raw beauty in someone who asks this to me not out of habit but out of true care. My walls come down, and I feel safe in their presence, a once very rare occurrence for me. And after feeling this authenticity in a conversation with someone it makes me seek out more of these types of relationships. It gives me the courage to be honest with myself about what I deserve and what I do or do not tolerate from others.
This can seem like a selfish act, especially to someone as sensitive as I am of the feelings of others. I still really struggle with the word selfish, it has an emotional trigger in its meaning to me. I’ve started to realise the correlation between my issue with not only the word selfish but with people who act or have selfish qualities and with my hangups of people pleasing and feeling guilty when I ask for help.
This is a common problem for a lot of us, and its an understandable one guys. We have been taught to serve others, I believe it’s in our very nature to help others, but as with all things in life, it takes balance. The oh so important and oh so overlooked missing ingredient for a happy life. We need to relinquish the fear of our own greatness. Our own worth. We can start by realizing that we deserve the very best for ourselves. We are here to be as happy as humanly possible, and the only one who is in charge of our happiness is our-damn-selves.
So instead of being scared of an s word, I’ll replace it with one that suits me better. I will act worthy. Firstly of my own love, and then of the love and relationships that I attract with my decision to be healthier and happier. Not to mention the most important relationships I already have in my life, the ones that have been with me and stuck by my side throughthick and thin. They are the ones who truly deserve my best version of me, my most energetic, happy, loving self. My true self, that they have allowed me to always be.
First I will fill my own cup up, so that I can pour into others. And I invite you to do the same. Stop waiting for permission, and give it to yourself. It’s not just important to make time for yourself, it is necessary. Since I started with a poem I want to leave you with a poem from my favorite spoken word poet Buddy Wakefield. His words have always inspired me, and each time I listen to one of his poems it always resonates in a different way depending on where I am in my life. I hope you take away whatever it is you need in this moment, and if you feel up for it I would love to hear from you on your findings.
Here is the link to the spoken word poem friends, do me a favor and set aside 19 minutes and 43 seconds for yourself today to listen to it.