2019 was the first time I set intentions for the new year. Rather than put pressure on myself with a stringent New Year’s resolution I decided to choose a word that would help anchor me in the coming trip around the sun. A mantra to call upon during the triumphs and challenges I would find myself swept away within. The word I chose was openness.
Behind the scenes and deep within my subconscious this word, and more so the intentions behind it, was silently guiding me throughout this year. I wanted to be open to new adventures, to pushing my own boundaries, testing my own limits and I would have to say that in this, I overly exceeded my expectations.
I had both the worst & best semesters in 2019. In spring I made the bold decision to take on a full course load of classes. Needless to say it was more than I realized, but here I was testing those limits. and it taught me a lesson or two about time management and about what my own priorities really look like. I took the summer off to realign, I went home to Arizona and worked more at the salon, finding it really weird to suddenly have all this “free time.” Fall semester came ever closer, and I signed up for my classes practically the very last moment. I changed my work schedule around to accommodate, and plunged myself into the deep end. Though it was difficult to adjust to another new schedule of work and school in the beginning, fall semester proved to be my best one yet. It chewed me up, spit me out, and then shaped me into my full potential. I’m excited to delve deeper into painting and drawing and just making & making & making with my own two hands. I’m about halfway through my associates degree already, and I’m focusing in on studio art, though don’t let this fool you into thinking I know what I’m going to do with it 🙂
This year I also took a leap with my hair career and created a brand new salon with a team of amazing women. I spent 3 solid months planning the move and anxiously sweating, which is now just a distant memory replaced by the best work environment that I have ever worked in. I am so proud of what we’re creating at Bloom and I am so proud of myself for trusting my gut that this was the place for me. I am in charge of my own schedule, I have a steady clientele of the most incredible clients, and I am the social media manager for the salon which excites and challenges me in a different creative way which I am really relishing.
Justin and I have had so many plates spinning, yet we learned again how to carve time out for each other. I am so thankful to have such an incredible partner to do this life with. We’re leaning in to the idea that we just aren’t cut out for the “norm”. We love making our own rules, and evolving what we want our lives to look like. I am forever grateful that we continue to trust the delirious twists and turns that come our way. The most recent of which is instead of moving out west next May like we had planned, we’re staying in Syracuse NY. Long story short, we both felt like we wanted to enjoy what we’ve built here the past 3 years a bit longer. I may go into more detail in another post but for now just know that in the end, our hearts led us to the most unlikely yet right decision for us both. (And they’ve never steered us wrong.)
For this new year, I’ve been quietly dreaming and scheming up what I want my 2020 to look like. I still have my sentiments from 2019, which taught me the value of having no expectations. I started again with the feelings I want to conjure this year, and the words have been finding me this week. Playful, joyous, whimsical, free. The feeling I need most in this new year is light-heartedness.
This is my intention for 2020. This is not me declaring that my entire year will be nothing but lighthearted. No no no.
This is the anchor I will return to when I feel heavy, the mantra I can say silently to myself. This is the compass that can help me navigate the ups and downs of life. I can ask myself, is this moving me towards joy? Do I feel free? Am I having fun? Anything or anyone who doesn’t allow me to feel more lighthearted, will have to be reprioritized. If it costs me my personal peace, it costs too much. It may not be easy, but it damn sure will be worth it. I’m excited to add more play into my life, more fun for the hell of it and more moments of pure and simple joy. When I feel guilty, which most of us do when we start to think about our own happiness, I hope that I can return to the purity of my intention of feeling light of heart.
Do you have a word or intention for 2020? I would love to hear in the comments below.